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[25 Apr 2004|09:54pm] |
Lavenders
Fantasy, enchantment, dreams, myths, spiritual beings, angels, fairies are all concepts which fill the Lavenders’ mind. Lavenders tend to live in a fantasy world. They prefer to spend their time out of their bodies, where life is pretty and enchanting. It is challenging for these airy beings to live in three-dimensional reality.
Lavenders prefer imaginary pictures of the world, seeing butterflies, flowers and wood nymphs rather than dirt, concrete and large cities. Physical reality seems cold and harsh to them. These sensitive creatures are fragile and frail, and their physical appearance is often weak and pale.
Lavenders’ skin is often alabaster white because they don’t like being outdoors, unless it is to be gently surrounded by beautiful flowers and gardens. These child-like personalities are sensitive and simple. Lavenders would rather spend time watching clouds float by or daydreaming. They prefer to escape this reality with all of its demands and responsibilities.
The Lavenders behavior tends to frustrate others who may expect them to be dependable and responsible. Lavenders have no understanding of what it means to hold a responsible job or to earn money. They are more familiar with other dimensions and imagined realities.
Lavenders even have a difficult time relating to or connecting with the concepts of time, space and physical matter. They tend to experience events in their imaginations, but they are not usually grounded enough in physical reality to actually accomplish anything tangible.
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[09 Apr 2004|07:29pm] |
The doctor prescribed me Zoloft, which I'm now taking with my Xanax. It takes a few weeks to start working.
My babe should be here soon hopefully. We are going to the movies. Hopefully Joshie will take Alice in Wonderland to the movies.
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[05 Apr 2004|06:47pm] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
] |
I have been eating a lot more lately. Icky ick ick. I definately need to start being more active or I will gain back all the lost weight.
I have a doctor appt. this Wednesday. I'm not sure what to do, life is good and I am really content right now. But I still have days where I am depressed.
I have a new job, at Lowes. It pays more, and hopefully I will like it.
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| Stolen <3 From the Gorgeous Johanna |
[31 Mar 2004|08:06pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
] |
Sleep with or without clothes on? Depends, usually with clothes but nudity is a wonderful thing
Prefer black or blue pens? Black
Dress up on Halloween? Of course!
Like to travel? Perhaps, I have never traveled before
Like someone? Love someone
Do they know? Yes
Sleep on your side? My tummy
Think you're attractive? Being in love makes me feel beautiful
Want to marry? Oh yes
Who? Joe <3
Alaska or Hawaii? Hawaii
Are you a good student? I loathe school
Are you currently in a relationship? Yes
Are you involved in sports? No
Birthplace: Hammond
Christmas or Halloween? Christmas!
Color or black-and-white photo? Black and White is so classy, but colors are beautiful
Do long distance relationships work? I wouldn't know, but distance makes the heart grow fonder...
Do you believe in astrology? Eh..not really
Do you believe in God? Yes
Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes
Do you consider yourself the life of the party? LOL, I am a fun girl, or so I've been told
Do you drink? Yes, too much
Do you have a car? I have a metal hunk of junk
Do you have a job? Yes
Do you make fun of people? It's not nice, I do sometimes
Fave thing to do? Draw, or doing the naughty
Fave breakfast food? Cookies and milk
Fave Candy? Smarties!
Fave Vacation spot? I never vacationed before
Favorite body part of the opposite/same sex: Lips
Go to the movies or rent? Both have perks
Have you ever moved? No
How's the weather right now? Freezing cold and snow in the forecast
Hug or kiss? Kiss
Last person you talked to on the phone? Joe
Last person you text messaged? Online, Emily
Last time you showered? This morning
Loud or soft music? Loud
McDonalds or Burger King? Mcdonalds!!!!
More romantic; baths or showers? Hm, I've never showered with someone of the same sex
Night or day? Night
Number of Pillows? 6
Piano or guitar? Guitar
Single or taken? Taken, happily
Snow or water? Snow
What are you doing tomorrow? Seeing Joe and watching TCM
What do you drink? Ice Tea
What makes you vomit? Erm..
What's on your computer screen? Legolas
What's right next to you? My Toby Bear
What's your bedtime? Whenever I want
What's your best physical feature? My eyes I guess
What's your name backwards? assileM
Who do you talk to the most online? Em, Sarry, Bethy, Ambre and Brian
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| More random |
[31 Mar 2004|12:49am] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
] |
I had nasty medicine taste in my mouth,
so I grabbed a cup out of the fridge,
and it was yours <3
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Fan-tas-tic movie <3
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| <3 J |
[29 Mar 2004|02:38pm] |
When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That’s when I love you
I love you
Just that way
To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
That’s when I love you
I love you...endlessly
And when your mad cuz you lost a game
Forget I am waiting in the rain
Baby I love you
I love you anyway
Cuz here’s my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cuz that's when I love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That’s when I love you
When I love you no matter what
So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cuz the movie, it made you cry
That’s when I love you
I love you
A little more each time
And when you can’t quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
That’s when I love you
I love you more than you know
And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that u give when u show up late
Baby I love you
I love you anyway
Cuz here’s my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cuz that's when I love you
And nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That’s when I love you
When I love you no matter what
That’s when I love you
When nothing baby
Nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That’s when I love you
When I love you
No matter what
No matter what...
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[20 Mar 2004|02:24pm] |
I FEAR
I feared being alone until I learned to like myself.
I feared failure until I realized that I only fail when I don't try.
I feared success until I realized that I had to try in order to be happy with myself.
I feared people's opinions until I learned that people would have opinions about me anyway.
I feared rejection until I learned to have faith in myself.
I feared pain until I learned that it's necessary for growth.
I feared the truth until I saw the ugliness in lies.
I feared I feared life until I experienced its beauty.
I feared death until I realized that its not an end, but a beginning.
I feared my destiny, until I realized that I had the power to change my life.
I feared hate until I saw it was nothing more than ignorance.
I feared love, until it touched my heart, making the darkness fade into endless sunny days.
I feared ridicule until I learned how to laugh at myself.
I feared growing old until I realized that I gained wisdom every day.
I feared the future until I realized that life just kept getting better.
I feared the past until I realized that it could no longer hurt me.
I feared the dark until I saw the beauty of starlight.
I feared light until I leaned that the truth would give me strength.
I feared change, until I saw even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a metamorphosis before it could fly.
-Author Unknown
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[20 Mar 2004|02:13pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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Tonight I am going out with friends. I think the Xanax is working, I just have to learn not to think so much and just be calm. I have to let things be how they're going to be. My fate is not in my hands.
I'm not sure what else I want to write.
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| Survey Stolen from Pretty Girl |
[19 Mar 2004|12:02pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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[ name ] Melissa Dawn
[ spell your first name backwards ] assileM
[ the user name reason?] Well, people call me dollface and I've had a sad existence and I cry a lot.
[ birthday ] March 14
[ sex ] Female, yeah it stinks...
[ preference ] My baby <3
[ where do you live? ] Indiana
[ eye color ]Hazel
[ hair color ] Red
[ zodiac sign ]Pisces
[ current location ]Dining room at the computer.
[ current clothes ] Loop shirt, pink bra, jeans and purple flutterby undies
[ current hair ] Down and damp
[ current nail color Chipped and pink
[ current annoyance ]My tummy, meds, life, being alone, feeling like shit more than usual but "calmly" ^%##^**(&%$
[ current smell ] Carass Sweet necter lotion, herbal essence shampoo, and JLO Glo
[ current thing i ought to be doing ]Nothinng really
[ current desktop picture ] My doggy
[ current book you’re reading ] I tend to read a lot of books at once, but mainly "Wormwood"
[ current cd in cd player ] Travis Tritt's Greatest Hits
[ current refreshment ] Making ice tea *iceteagasm*
[ current worry ]Getting better, missing Joe, being normal again, going out tonight, not getting upset over little things and hopefully figuring Joe out so I can be 100% happy.
.: either - or :.
[ righty or lefty ] Righty
[ innie or outtie ] Innie
[ thong or bikini ] Both have their perks
[ boxers or briefs ] boxers (lol em, joe has both scooby and spongebob boxers)
[ pepsi or coke]pepsi
[burger king or mcdonalds] Mcdonalds!!
[nike or adidas] Adidas..all day i dream about sex
[ lipton ice tea or nestea ]I make my own ice tea and it's the best ice tea ever
[ cappuccino or coffee ]coffee
.: what is :.
[ first feature you notice on guys ] Lips, eyes, hair, body, hands.
[ your bedtime ] Whenever I Like
[ your most missed memory ] Childhood, running around with my friends playing Jurassic park or Aliens or Scream or w/e
[ your favorite article of clothing ] Joe's long-sleeve black shirt
[ your most important goal in life ] To be famous and to be happy in love and married with Joe
.: favorite :.
[ food ] Cheese and Chicken
[ drink ]Ice Tea
[ color ]All
[ shoes ] My old as feck 6 year old Vans
[ animal ] Monkeys, Llamas, Penguins, Cats, Dogs, Hyenas MUWHAHA oh and SPACE CHICKENS
[ movie ] RHPS, Scream, VG, Dazed and Confused, Labyrinth, Empire Records, Thirteen, Halloween Series, Legend, POTC, HP movies, and LOTR Trilogy..to name a few
[ vegetable ] Potatoes!
[ fruit ] Ooo green apples, grapes, peaches, watermelon, cantalope.
[ cartoon ] David the Gnome <3 But I love the cartoon "As Told By Ginger"
.: who do you want to :.
[ kill ] Mwuaha..
[ get real wasted with ] Mello haha <3 (Hell yeah Em! You'd have a blast with me)
[ get high with ] Sarry
[ look like ] Me, myself and I
[ talk to offline ] Emily or Sarry
[ talk to online ] Any of my good online friends
.: The opposite sex :.
[ favorite physical feature ]LIPS LIPS LIIIPPPPPS
[ favorite eye color ] Hm..it don't matter but those real bright blue eyes that look inhuman..*droolzalot*
[ best hair color ] Brown or Black, or platinum blond on pretty boys
[ short or long hair ] long
[ best height ]Taller than me
[best weight ] It don't matta
[ best article of clothing on them ] Depends on the guy really
[ best first date location ]Me and Joe's first date was the movies..We went to the store before and bought candy and stuffed our pockets and ate it in the theatre. We saw Cabin Fever. He locked his keys in the car and had to go through the back window (he has a van btw}.They had forgot to tear our tickets so he went inside and got a full refund.
[ best kiss location ] On the body? Or location..hmm..it has to be ultra spontaneous and romantic, like in the warm summe rain XD
[ crush ] My baby <3
[ in love ] See above
[ how many times ] First and only
[ do they give you the chills ] Mmhmm
[ been heartbroken ] Yes, but unintentionally. I am a sensitive and fragile person.
[ cutest thing someones done for you ] Yesterday he was showing me how he keeps everything I give him, even if it's a piece of paper with doodles on it.
[ your dream of a romantic thing for someone to do for you ] That's been done
[ marriage ]One day
[ kids ] Oh yeah
[ for true love or something else ] True Love
[ big or small wedding ]Depends
.: have you ever :.
[ kissed in the rain ]Nope, not yet
[ watched the stars with someone ] Yes
[ cried because you were so happy ] Yes
[ been in love, but it wasnt returned ] No he loves me thank god
[ eaten an entire box of oreos ]Not in one day...
[ binge ate a pint of ben and jerrys chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream ] Oh that sounds goooood
[ eaten sushi ] Nope
[ been on stage ] Choir concerts
[ gone skating ] Roller
[ made homemade cookies ] Yes! Fun XD
[ gone skinny dipping ] That's the only kind of swiming I like
[ dyed your hair ] Yes
[Opinions on:]
[x]Fashion: Be who you wanna be and be unique
[x]Abortion:Anti, I have my reasons
[x]Fascists: Negalatory
[x]Racist: Extreme racists that kill and hurt I am against.
[x]Punx: I'm not a punk but I find unique people interesting. I love all kinds of "strange" people
[x]Skins: Hate
[x]Poseurs: Loathe
[The Nosey]
x. What color is your underwear?: White and purple with a glitter butterfly
x. Girls, is your bra padded/do you stuff it? Nah don't need it :D
x. Do you have a crush on someone? Yesh *blush* lol
x. Who do you have a crush on? Joe
x. What is so special about them? Everything, he is my world.
x. Do they like you back? He loooooves me
x. Does anyone have a crush on you? I dunno
x. What turns you on?: We should ask, What Doesn't Turn me On?
x. What turns you off?:Rudeness, assholeness, being treated bad
x. Which celebrities do you find attractive?: Johnny Depp ia my number 1
[The Morals]
x. Would you kiss someone you don't love? Um yeah :\ If I wasn't with someone
x. Would you have sex with someone you don't love? I would before, or I thought..things change
x. Do you believe in sex before marriage? Heh oh yeah
x. Have you ever been in love? I am right now, it's the most wonderful and worst experience all the same.
[The Ending]
x. What is the time? 12:47
x. How long did this take you? I wasn't keeping track
x. Did you enjoy this? Yeah
x. Are you a pervert? HUGE perv
x. What did you do most during this survey? Listened to country and sang
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[16 Mar 2004|12:02pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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I'm worried about Bina. She left with someone around midnight last night, and her family called me around 4 a.m. looking for her. Then again around 10:30 a.m. I hope she is okay. I'll have to ask Alice In Wonderland if she's heard from her.
I'm missing my suga a lot. I'm wearing his shirt, it helps me miss him a little less. I hope I see him later.
I'm tense and panicky and kind of depressed today.
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[15 Mar 2004|06:16pm] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
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The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
I really like that quote. My birthday was yesterday. I had a party, thrown by my love and my friends. People say I am a funny drunk. Everyone was so happy and having fun too. It was fantastic.
It's snowing today, I am sad because I thought it was going to get warm again but the snow is so very pretty.
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[11 Mar 2004|06:21pm] |
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mood |
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groggy |
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So, Alice and I are making the jello shots tomorrow, after she gets off work. There's going to be a lot. We are going to customize the shot glass too. It'll be fun.
I am also making cupcakes to take to work for my birthday. Oh oh oh! And Becky is taking me out to dinner, I want to go to Cracker Barrel. I <33 that place.
Looks like a busy Friday. :D
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[07 Mar 2004|08:17pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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I have all the faith in you that you will love me til your dying day. That we're going to get married one day and have kids together. Yet I find myself reading quotes and lyrics on heartbreak and loss and moving on, to inspire and help me save myself from the pain of losing you. I don't understand why. I got this sad feeling but maybe it's because you're not here by my side and me missing you so much, and not my stupid gut feeling telling me something.
Ack..maybe I am just bipolar. >.
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[06 Mar 2004|12:37pm] |
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mood |
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pleased |
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I really need to learn how to be more patient, understanding and not base what being in love entales by what I see in the movies. I also need to work on my insecurity. This is why I am so..depressed lately.
Now that's out of the way...I have to start a savings account soon and start putting money in it. I am such a female at times. I also have to go through my sty of a room and get rid of anything I don't need anymore.
Party in one week!!
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[05 Mar 2004|04:34pm] |
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mood |
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 pensive |
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It's weird that for sooo long you can want something. Then this special person comes along and changes everything. And soon, you are thinking with your heart. And you don't want those same things anymore. Your brain is telling you that you're thinking absurd things, and yet your heart is beating out your true desires. Then you are willing to change the course of history for one person. One fantastic person...
He is deserving of love. I am not whipped because I spoil him so much more than he spoils me. He deserves my love, and I am sure he appreciates it. I just have to let myself believe and to open my heart fully and put my trust in him.
I love ya babe.
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[04 Mar 2004|09:36pm] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
] |
I'm so very tired. Had a little mall adventure today.
Guess who is getting a BIRTHDAY PARTY!! Me!!!! I am so very excited.
I guess that is all.
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[03 Mar 2004|08:20pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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I am quite excited! Starting next Tuesday, I am going to be taking art classes! It is my b-day present from my parents. It is the beginners course, because I need to go back to the basics I tend to neglect.
Alice in Wonderland and I are going to "The Alley" in Chicago, on Friday. We are taking the train. It's our little adventure for the week.
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| random |
[03 Mar 2004|12:21am] |
*and then I see you
fresh out of the shower
your hair is wet
and in that moment
i want to go to colorado*
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